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Ceremony Name
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Timing
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Ceremony Details
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Conducted at
Joint/Bride/Groom
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1
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Janya or "Thread Ceremony"
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Before Wedding
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It is a rite of passage considered to be
the official induction
into the Hindu religion. During this ceremony, a sacred thread is tied to the
groom-to-be, and health, wealth and prosperity are wished upon his future
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Groom
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2
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Kacchi Misri
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Before Wedding
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Kacchi means ‘raw’ so this is ceremony is a
pre-engagement of sorts. It
takes place once the boy and girl and their respective families agree to move
forward with the marriage. It is formalized with a small pooja and the
exchange of offerings (mithai, coconuts, fruits, sometimes money or jewelry).
A wedding date is set based on an auspicious day in the near future. Misri
is also the name for rock sugar and it is customary for the couples to feed
each other a piece of rock sugar, symbolizing their agreement to the
marriage. This is often considered the engagement, but traditionally, rings
are not exchanged until the Pakki Misri. In most cases, families will only
announce a son or daughter’s engagement after this ceremony has taken place.
It is also believed that feeding Misri to the other single young men and
women in the families will speed up their search for a spouse.
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Joint
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3
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Jhoolelal Bairana
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Before or After
or During Wedding
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Some
families, particularly Bhaiband Sindhis, begin the marriage festivities with
a Jhulelal Behrano – Jhulelal is the patron saint of Hindu Sindhis and the
Behrano is a prayer specific to Jhulelal.
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Joint or individually
held by Bride or Groom
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4
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Pakki Misri
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Before Wedding
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Taking place a few days prior to the actual
marriage, this is a formal ring
exchange ceremony, consecrated with a pooja, that usually signals the start
of the marriage festivities. Because the fourth
finger is thought to have a vein leading directly to the heart, the rings are
placed on the fourth finger of the right hand of the groom and the fourth
finger of the left hand of the bride. After exchanging rings, the groom's
family offers a basket of fruit, clothing and other items to the girl as a
symbol of acceptance into their family. The groom's family then gives the
bride's family a promise of marriage and feeds them misri to finalize the
engagement. Traditionally, the bride’s family sends the groom his
outfit for the wedding day, sometimes accompanied by cash, fruit (fresh &
dry), misri, sweets and coconuts. It is also believed that feeding misri to
the other single young men and women in the families will speed up their
search for a spouse.
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Joint
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5
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Mehendi
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Before Wedding
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The bride has her
hands and feet intricately patterned with a paste that is made of henna, oil,
lemon juice and some water tinted with tea. Ideally, the bride-to-be should
not wash her hands until the paste has completely dried. Some brides leave it
on overnight to darken the stain of the paste on their hands and feet. Mehndi
signifies the strength of love in a marriage. An old wives tale says that the
darker the mehndi, the stronger the love. The Groom’s initials or name is
hidden in the mehendi pattern and the Bride makes the Groom find his name on
her hands on the wedding night. This event is typically for the women only.
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Bride
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6
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Sagri
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Before Wedding
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The groom's
sisters come to the bride's house (usually after her Mehendi) to welcome her
into their family. They adorn her with bangles, chains, earrings, perfume
and crowns of flowers that have been strung together. The groom's sister then
presents the bride with cosmetics, five types of fruits, and 'misri', along
with a 'thali' of dried coconut, sweets, 'batashe' (sugar candy) and 'attar'
(perfume). The bride's family then offers gifts to each person who has
decorated her to show gratitude and respect to the guests in their home.
This ceremony is meant to familiarize the bride with her family-to-be and
create a bonding relationship between the women in the groom's life.
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Gooms Sister Visit
the Brides House
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7
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Sangeet
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Before Wedding
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A lot of modern weddings combine the above
three ceremonies into
the same day, and some add on a Sangeet, which is a musically themed
celebration that has evolved into another type of reception. Traditonally,
Ladas
(Sindhi wedding songs) were sung all evening, sometimes poking fun at or
singing the praises of members of the wedding party.
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Joint
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8
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Navgrahi Pooja
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Wedding Day or
1 Day before
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Navgrai Pooja is the prayer to the nine
planets of our Solar System. Ancient
Indian studies indicate that various celestial bodies have tremendous
influence on the destiny of every individual, and among them the effect of
the nine planets is the most profound. During this pooja, the Gods associated
with these planets are asked to bless the couple and their families. As per
Sindhi tradition, all 'pujas' are performed in the groom's home first and
only then in the bride's house. The 'pujas' performed on this day include the
'Ganesha Puja', 'Omkar Puja', 'Lakshmi Puja', 'Kalash Puja', followed by the
'puja' of the nine planets or the 'Navgrahi Puja'. Because of various rites
that need to be performed and blessings to be given, it is imperative for the
bride's 'mama' (maternal uncle), 'chacha' (paternal uncle) and brother to be
present.
While this pooja is going on, seven married women, called
‘suhaginis’, do the “bochini” – a white silk dupatta has to be
embroidered with seven different motifs in seven different colors. Towards
the end of the pooja, these ladies (sata suhaginis) gather around a mortar
and pestle with the bride or groom, and they all jointly pound pieces of
tumeric root, which signifies blending.
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Both Bride and
Groom Individually
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9
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Vanwas
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Wedding Day or
1 Day before
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In this ceremony,
both the groom and bride are dressed in old clothes. At the start of this
pooja, the priest ties a red thread (garo dhago) on the wrist of the groom
and bride and their immediate family members. This thread confirms their
abstinence from alcohol and meat until after the conclusion of the wedding
ceremonies. People from their respective families pour oil on top of their
head and body. Both bride and groom are made to put on the shoes they will
wear during the wedding and break a clay pot -- it is auspicious to do so
swiftly
and in one motion. Their clothes are then torn by family members, equating
‘out with the old, and in with the new’. It is critical that every shred of
the torn clothes must be immersed in the ocean along with the pooja items
immediately after the wedding.
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Both Bride and
Groom Individually
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10
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Ghari or Ghari-bukhi
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Eve of wedding
day
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It is the final and most important
religious custom that is performed on the eve
of the wedding day and is a special pooja for the parents of the bride and
groom. The priest performs the prayers with rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil,
betel nuts, turmeric and a number of other spices. The groom offers a handful
of grains to the priest indicating he will always give to charity and look
after those less fortunate than himself. Married ladies grind wheat on a
small old-fashioned grinder symbolising that the home will always be
prosperous. The son in law of each family now steps into the very important
role of ainer – the protector and bodyguard of the groom and his
family (or bride and her family) and is given a ceremonial sword or knife.
The mother and father of both the bride and groom dress up in their bridal
finery. Carrying an earthen pot (mutka) of water and milk on the mother’s
head, and they walk to the threshold of their homes. The mutka is put on the
ground, just outside the threshold of the house, and the ainer stirs the
water and milk mixture with his sword. The symbolism here is that once water
and milk are mixed, they cannot be separated, no matter how sharp the knife
or how strong the effort. And this is exactly how strong and joint this
family is. The parents are now joyously greeted and garlanded by their
relatives and are presented with ‘tol’. In return, this is also when
the parents present their friends and relatives with gifts and a dupatta
or a shawl. All of this is often done with great fanfare and noise, such as
banging of pots and pans, to ward off any evil that wishes to come between
the marriage.
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Both Bride and
Groom Individually
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11
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Swagatam
|
Wedding Day
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After the bride
has dressed in her wedding ensemble, her sisters or female relatives go to he
grooms house to escort the groom to the bride"s house. They leave the
bride's
trousseau in the groom's house and the bride's sister performs a small
ceremony whereby she has to apply some cosmetics on the faces of the groom
and his mother. The priest puts a red 'dupatta' on the groom and the groom
then proceeds to the bride's home. In addition to the red duppatta, a pink
dupatta is also draped around the groom’s neck - it has one end sewn closed
in which a coconut is inserted, which the groom holds during a major portion
of the ceremony. The opposite side of the pink duppata is knotted to the
corner of the bride’s pallu; oftentimes with a gold coin inserted in this
knot, which later on, is opened by the groom’s who gets to keep the gold
coin.
Also draped around the groom’s neck is the bochini.
The arrival of the bridegroom's party at the venue is heralded
by special musical tunes played on the shehnai (flute). Before he can enter
the house, the groom places his right foot on the top of the bride's foot,
signifying that he should be the dominating strength in their life together.
When the bride and groom first meet each other on the wedding day, they
exchange flower garlands. This is to greet each other and to acknowledge
mutual acceptance of the wedding to take place. The bride's parents
then rinse the groom’s feet with milk and water because it is believed that
due to all the prayers that have preceded this moment, the groom is an
embodiment of Lord Vishnu on this wedding day.
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Joint
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12
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hathialo
|
Wedding Day
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In this ceremony,
the corner of the bride's sari is tied to a scarf the groom is wearing. The
right hands of the couple are tied with a thread that has been blessed with
religious incantations. The tying of the hands signifies an eternal bond that
will join them forever and that although they are separate individuals, from
now on, they are one in mind and spirit. The couple then prays to the Gods to
give them strength and bless their union.
The bride and groom are
given water and something to eat because after this their hands are tied
together with the sacred thread or 'mouli'. Some money and a dried date are
placed between their palms before their hands are tied. After the
chanting of 'mantras' the couple and relatives leave for the wedding venue.
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Joint
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13
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Ganesh Puja
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Wedding Day
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Hindu ceremonies begin with a prayer to the
elephant God Ganesh -- remover of
all obstacles -- seeking blessings and asking for the successful completion
of the ceremony.
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Joint
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14
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Nav
Graha & Kalash Pujas
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Wedding Day
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Prayers are then offered to
the nine planets as they greatly influence our lives, asking for peace,
happiness
and prosperity; followed by prayers to Varundev, the God of Water,
represented by a pot of water topped with a coconut. Next, the priest leads
prayers to all the Gods and Goddesses, parents, grandparents and the couple’s
ancestors.
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Joint
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15
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Vedi
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Wedding Day
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The priest then recites mantras and the
couple is showered with rice,
representing fulfillment in all aspects of life.
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Joint
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16
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Pheras
|
Wedding Day
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The couple walks around the holy fire four times,
signifying the four phases
of life -- Dharma (Duty, Purpose & Righteousness) Artha (Prosperity),
Kama (Love), and Moksha (Salvation). Before the pheras, the bride
is seated to the right of the groom, but after the pheras she is seated to
his left, to signify that she is now closer to his heart. In a Sindhi
wedding ceremony, the groom leads the first three rounds while the bride
leads the fourth.
Dharma: This signifies the
spirit of righteousness and one’s duty to follow the religion devoutly.
Artha: This signifies the
path one and right means that one should take for earning one’s wealth and
livelihood, striving for material gain and success, and endeavouring to help
the poor and unprivileged whenever possible.
Kama: According to Hindu
mythology, Kama is the God of Love. This ‘phera’ thus symbolizes the love and
dedication that a married couple should have towards each other. They should
support and stand for each other, ‘for better or worse’, for the rest of
their lives.
Moksha: The last phera
signifies liberation of suffering. Once a person gets married and encounters
the bliss of marital fulfillment, he will find liberation from the sufferings
and pains of unmarried life.
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Joint
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17
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Kanya
Daan
|
Wedding Day
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The Bride’s parents entrust her wellbeing
to the Groom by placing her hands
in his.
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Joint
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18
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Jaya
Mala:
Jaya Mala
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Wedding Day
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Bride & Groom exchange garlands to
signify their acceptance of marriage.
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Joint
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19
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Sapta
PadiSapta Padi
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Wedding Day
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The couple take seven steps, representing seven vows, to
sanctify the
marriage. The couple faces north, and along with
each vow, they take a step.
The Seven Vows
1) Groom: You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I
will cherish you and provide for the welfare and happiness of you and our
children. Bride: I am responsible for the home, and take charge of all
household responsibilities.
2) Groom: Together we will protect our house and children.
Bride: I will be by your side, and be your courage and strength. I will
rejoice in your happiness. In return, you will love me alone.
3) Groom: May we grow wealthy and prosperous, strive for the
education of our children. May our children live long. Bride: I will love
only you for the rest of my life, as you are my husband. Every other man in
my life will come second to you. I vow to remain chaste.
4)Groom: You have brought sacredness into my life, and have
completed me. May we be blessed with noble, obedient children. May our
children live long. Bride: I will shower you with happiness, from head to
toe. I will strive to please you in every way that I can.
5)Groom: You are my best friend, and staunchest well-wisher.
You have come into my life, and have enriched it. God bless you. Bride: I
promise to love and cherish you for as long as I love. Your happiness is my
happiness, and your sorrow is my sorrow. I will trust and honour you, and
will strive to fulfill all your wishes.
6) Groom:
May you be filled with joy and peace.
Bride:
I will always be by your side.
7) Groom:
We are now husband and wife, and are one. You are mine and I am yours for
eternity.
Bride:
As God is witness, I am now your wife. We will love, honor and cherish each
other forever
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Joint
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20
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Sindoor & Mangal Sutra:
|
Wedding Day
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The Groom places Sindoor on
the Bride’s forehead and hair symbolizing a long life, and a sacred necklace
as a symbol of their marriage.
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Joint
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21
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Aashirwad
|
Wedding Day
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The priest blesses the couple on behalf of
the Gods and Goddesses and closes
the ceremony with a prayer; and asks everyone to shower them with blessings
and good wishes. The newlyweds will seek the
blessings of their parents, elderly relatives and other family members for a
happy marriage and a long life by bowing and touching their feet.
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Joint
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22
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Vidayi
|
Wedding Day
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Once the marriage
ceremony is over and the bride is taken to her groom’s house. The bride is
covered from head in generally a sari. This is called “Dhakh ji Chaadar”
(Dhakh means to cover). This symbolizes that the father is given his asset
& his pride that lived with him from day one is handed over to some other
family.
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Bride
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23
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Datar
|
Wedding Day
|
– Before entering
her new home, the bride first steps into a thali of water with her right foot
symbolizing her purity before stepping into the house. When entering the
house, a lid is put over her head while she sprinkles water and milk around
the house. The lid symbolizes that bride will respect her new family and keep
its affairs and shortcomings within the confines of her home and not share
them with the outside world. The bride then picks up salt from a tray by
cupping both hands and places it in the hands of her husband who places place
some money and a gift in the salt for his wife as a blessing for a healthy
lineage and a happy married life. He passes the salt back into her hands
without spilling any, and this is repeated three times. The next person to
perform this ritual with the bride will be her father-in-law, followed by her
mother-in-law and then one by one each person from the groom's family.
Exchanging salt symbolises that just as salt blends in and gives taste to
food, so must the bride blend in and become a part of her new family.
Some rituals take place to welcome the bride into the groom’s family.
One of these is a game in which coins, gold and other items (sometimes bottle
caps!) are placed into a large mutka that is filled with water. The bride has
to put her hand into the mutka and in one grip (one attempt), remove
everything of value from it. If indeed the bride successfully does this, she
is considered an ‘akul wari chokri’ and is welcomed with a great round of
applause and made to feel ‘at home’ in her new house.
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Groom
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24
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Satavaro
|
Next to wedding Day
|
The bride and the groom go to the bride's
house for a family gathering,
usually hosted by the bride’s mother’s family
|
Bride
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